Its about this time of year when I take a week off shopping to reflect on what Christmas really means to me and my blog. Is it about forcing yourself to open the front door and listen to the Carol singers ? Or maybe giving your cleaner a couple of hours off on Christmas day? Or perhaps taking the time to sign your own Christmas cards?
No it isn't. It's about trying to get rid of all the rubbish when you have a fortnightly bin collection.
So I have invented a new game. Everyone can play, mums, dads, husbands, children grandparents even dogs. Its called "See who can squash the most rubbish into the wheelie bin."
First appoint a Rubbish Coordinator, this should always be you, for reasons you will see in a minute. Sit on the sofa, pour yourself a drink.
Second, get your family to tear all the bits of paper and cardboard up in to tiny pieces. Dogs and children love this bit. Don't be alarmed by the huge amount of mess they make, they're enjoying themselves. Again the Rubbish Coordinator remains on the sofa, you can put your feet up, that's optional.
Then ask everyone to help put all the bits of paper into big black refuse sacks. Think carefully about the tone of your voice here, don't sound too authoritative remember it's Christmas for them as well.
Bring to their attention any bits of paper they may have missed from under tables, behind TV's
that sort of thing. Grandparents always like plenty of fresh air, so send them outside to get started on emptying any rubbish in your car.
You may even be feeling a bit sleepy watching all this pandemonium going on in your lovely lounge, that's normal. Pour yourself another drink, its going to get a lot quieter in a minute.
Now it's time to take all the awful rubbish outside and squash it into your wheelie bin. Tell everyone to wrap up warm, its freezing outside. Don't forget to give clear instructions where your bin is, it'll probably be dark and its quite a walk up those icy side alley steps. If its windy, tell them to be careful not to let all the little bits of paper blow all over the road and down the street. No need to get up, you have a drink to finish.
Now you've got a bit of peace and your lounge looks lovely and tidy, you can settle down to watch "Finding Nemo
," a funny heartwarming film about a cute little clown fish whose mother gets eaten alive, then he gets taken away from his father and put into captivity.
Have a fantastic Christmas.