Heather's Boutique, picture from Getty Images

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Do's and don'ts for the World Cup

Thank you for all your postings, with suggestions on which football team I should support, very interesting.
  • Blackburn Rovers - no reasons given, possibly a bit far for me to travel?
  • Ipswich - sounds good.
  • QPR - Coming through loud and clear! I agree it is a smart kit, and colours are very important to me. You nearly lost me there when you said it was a "very unfashionable team", but recovered beautifully by saying you have "street cred" so thats ok. Thank you to the person who sent me photo's of Gareth Ainsworth.... and I don't think I will be putting myself up for appearing in the QPR calender, I already have a good Marks and Spencer's one thank you. No, I don't take sugar in tea, in fact I only like coffee.
All suggestions are being seriously considered, keep them coming. In the meantime, here are some handy hints for the big event!

Do As I mentioned before, show support and wear your cute red England top from New Look.
Don't Go for the 'buy one, get one free' offer and get the Brazil or Italia one as well.

Look out for the referee, he's in black.
Don't Keep saying, "why are footballers always spitting?"

Do Give the T.V. a good polish before play starts.
Don't Ask if you could quickly whip round with the hoover, saying "you don't need sound as well do you?"

Say "Doesn't Peter Crouch have good touch for a big man?"
Don't Say "which one is Jonny Wilkinson?"

Do Learn all the names of the players
Don't Keep asking if Ashley Cole and Joe Cole are brothers, they are not.

Do Let your man put his feet up and enjoy the game.
Don't Chatter all the way through, and ask him if he prefers football to you now.

Do At kick off, take note which way England are playing, ie: kicking the ball.
Don't Ask your man to explain what 4 4 2 is. It's not the vital statistics of your pet rabbit, its a team formation.

Do Provide lots of tasty food, like quiche for example.
Don't Ask where that cute guy from the Va Va Voom advert is. Its Thierry Henry and he's French.

Do Join in with banter, try something simple like "That Ref should have gone to Spec Savers"
Don't Ask if they are going to stop play because it has started to rain.

Do Remember, footballers don't get selected to play for their country, based on interesting haircuts and nice thighs.
Don't Ask who Ronaldinho is. He's not the new mascot for McDonald's, he's one of the worlds best players, for Brazil.

Do Be sympathetic if we l---, sorry I can't say it.
Don't Say that old favourite, "It's only a game!" .......its so over used. Try to think of something more original.

More posts coming soon, including the Quiche recipe, and next month's H'scopes. Heatherx


  • At Wednesday, May 31, 2006 10:17:00 pm, Blogger shrimpchilli said…

    So what's the offside rule?

    H - how can you suggest giving the TV a wipe before game starts? Might end up having to agree to the 42" HDTV next.

  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 6:52:00 pm, Blogger serendipity said…

    Ooh I am SO loving your blog. Mind if I add you to my blogroll?

  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 7:23:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    Hi serendipity, really pleased you like it. Would be delighted to be added to your blogroll. Heatherx

  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 8:10:00 pm, Blogger serendipity said…

    Duly added :)

  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 9:27:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Offside - When a womans stands between the sofa and the TV during a match and starts asking inane questions.

  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 10:50:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    do-meet up with serendipity
    don't-support qpr just cos a few cockney blogiots tell u 2. go with ur heart. If u can't listen 2 ur heart then at least support the best team. eg. Newcastle United

  • At Friday, June 02, 2006 12:34:00 am, Blogger serendipity said…

    lol @ anon. You could at least leave your name!

  • At Friday, June 02, 2006 11:25:00 am, Anonymous JeTSy said…

    Don't go to bed after extra time before the penalty shoot out has started. Especially if its England.

    Don't jump up and celebrate an England goal when the cats are asleep on your lap.

    Don't pretend you are John Motson and do your own commentary to annoy your husband.

    Don't run the washing machine because you are bored and are going to bed.

    Do celebrate each England victory with Champagne

  • At Tuesday, June 06, 2006 10:01:00 am, Blogger China Blue said…

    Great blog! Very funny. Someone suggested I blog about football, and I said 'Nah, there's others who can do that better'.

  • At Tuesday, June 06, 2006 2:18:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    off side is when a woman stand between you and the tv

  • At Tuesday, June 06, 2006 2:23:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    do\s women go to the shops for the beers
    dont get in the way of the tv

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 10:00:00 am, Anonymous Pablo said…

    Hello there Heather,

    Glad to see that QPR are so far leading the way for the team you should support...

    That Anon person called us "blogiots"...now now fella, no need for name calling.

    Linked is a picture of my hero, Kevin Gallen, who is our club captain! :)

    Your Do/Do Not list should be published on a larger scale, good work!

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 11:16:00 am, Anonymous Dai Hoop said…

    'Ode to Heather'

    The thought is overwhelming
    That you Heather, might choose to bring,
    Your heart, beauty and grace,
    More than just another, at our hallowed place.

    You who in a blink of an eye,
    Could choose disaster; might choose like I.

    The purpose being only,
    A chance, to gather, with us, with me,
    To our boundless love,
    With heads low we whisper, to Him above.

    To humble yourself as a woman,
    Become with us the twelfth man.

    You choose with purpose and full intent.
    Prepare to engage in just dissent,
    Willingly suffering tenaciously,
    So we might be saved, by this dodgy referee.

    So today Heather, draw near,
    Adorn self, blue n white, so dear.
    Oh fair Heather who became,
    One of us, all one and the same.

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 11:52:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    look at that masterpiece. if that doesn't swing it QPR's way nothing will.

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 12:34:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Surely that poem must swing it? You see, Heather, you'll be right at home at QPR amongst such cultured, caring fellows.

    And remember, QPR is situated in West London, and so in one of the trendiest parts of the country.

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 3:23:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Join with all us QPR fans.

    We are cultured, well read, know all about good food and wine, love the theatre,we never come late. We never bother with people we hate. We love classic cinema and great music, we are welcoming, we are, above all, modest and lovable.

    Join us Heather you will never regret it.

    Through thick and thin, through good times and bad The Loftus Road Faithful are always there, sharing the load, sharing the joy.

    Join with the R's, the best in the land.

    Ron Gould.

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 3:56:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey...i jus love this blog. What is
    blogging btw?

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 4:07:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Great blog and, in all seriousness, how can you resist Queens Park Rangers when you have poetry like that?

  • At Thursday, June 08, 2006 12:23:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    Dear Dai Hoop, loved the poem, thank you. QPR top of the list so far. Then possibly Southampton or Leicester. Will be going to games when the season starts to decide. Post later on today. Enjoy Saturday. Heatherx

  • At Thursday, June 08, 2006 12:27:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    Dear anonymous at 3.56,thanks glad you like it. Blogging? I'm told it means Web Log, and a jolly good thing it is too.Heatherx

  • At Thursday, June 15, 2006 8:21:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Can we go through the whole procedure again.. I still don't get it.. But kool blog thing..

  • At Thursday, June 15, 2006 8:23:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…


  • At Monday, June 19, 2006 9:17:00 pm, Blogger 32YrsWithoutSexInterc said…

    DO: Recognize that you are not the center of your man's universe for a few days.
    DON'T: Take it seriously. It's only a game, not another female.


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