Heather's Boutique, picture from Getty Images

Monday, June 26, 2006

JULY H'scopes

Well done England yesterday. One step closer to the World Cup. I've cleared my entire social diary for July ready for the inevitable celebrations. I will be missing the Wimbledon final, (dog show), not tennis. Also my amateur Champagne making weekend at Chateau Finistere.

I think all the England team are doing well, and I wish the media would stop picking on them. They are doing their best. I mean, running around in that heat with a dodgy tummy, and then being sick in front of all those people..... the embarrassment. Couldn't his mother have written him a sick note or something? I hope this sort of thing doesn't go on at QPR, or any other team I choose to support.

Here are my predictions for July.

Cancer - Love is in the air....for me. However for you old habits die hard. Sort out that obsessive compulsive disorder now before its too late.

Gemini - Some people say you're arrogant, and I would have to agree with them.

Leo - You'll be lavished with expensive gifts around the 6th. Unfortunately most will have to be returned due to religious reasons.

Virgo - New horizons beckon for you this month. Despite your chronic seasickness you will be setting off on a round the world sailing challenge. Good Luck!

Libra - Stop doing that! you know what I'm talking about.

Scorpio - Don't be down hearted because you can't get into your favourite pair of jeans. Try getting a larger size, problem solved!

Sagittarius - You'll be taking up a hobby this month, collecting retro flips-flops. But as Richard Branson will tell you, it can be both expensive and addictive.

Capricorn - Is it really a good idea to start your own penguin farm? We all have dreams, but termites are far more manageable.

Aquarius - Your numbers are coming up on the lottery this month! Unfortunately due to bad planning, I also predict that you forget to buy your usual weekly ticket. I am unable to tell you which week this is, sorry I'm not that good.

Pisces - Be sympathetic to your gorgeous, millionaire, 22 year old friend. It won't be everyday she gets married to a charming handsome doctor. If you don't let her borrow your shoes, and your grandmother's priceless antique locket, you could well ruin her wedding day.

Aries - Time will tell, with your very unique problem. I can't compromise my predictive powers, by just making stuff up.

Taurus - Don't try to bluff it in the world of bee keeping. It can take years to really get to grip with this subject. Bees are physic as well you know, they can spot a phony a mile of.

More posts coming soon, including trip to Wimbledon to see the tennis, not the dog show or MK Dons. Heather x


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