Heather's Boutique, picture from Getty Images

Monday, September 25, 2006

QPR v Hull City

1.00 pm - Made the difficult decision not to take the dogs to the football after all. Fluffy broke her promise to me and did in fact roll in something disgusting on her morning walk. Grizzle however just couldn't be bothered.

2.00 pm - Arrived at "The Green" pub in Shepherds Bush. A very mischievous doorman questioned whether we were genuine football fans or not, otherwise he couldn't let us in! My friend CD assured him that despite our stylish appearance we were.

2.05 pm - Was berated by CD for not joining in with the football ambiance after ordering a glass of Rioja.

3.00 pm - Kick off! We had great seats, in the corner of the Ellerslie Road Stand.

7th Minute - I was cursing myself for not having the foresight to bring along my earmuffs. For the noisy chanting yes, but girls you should have heard some of the language....I didn't know where to look.

30th Minute - CD pointed out to me that their sponsors are Sellotape...ahh bless. I think they do need my support after all.

48th Minute - Half time.

Vistied the Ladies, which were surprisingly clean. Molton Brown toiletries and freshly laundered fluffy white towels! It really is the Queen's team!

Visited the snack stand, FIVE POUNDS for a pie??! What's in it? Scottish reared fillet steak from Donald Russell, the Queen's butcher? Possibly....but opted for a man's size Kit Kat instead.

49th Minute - Start of second half.

52nd Minute - Couldn't help but overhearing some fans being very rude about Danny Mill's mother.

60th Minute - Ray Jones scored a goal!! Group hugs all round.

80th Minute - Dexter Blackstock scores a goal!

82nd Minute - Heard a chant along the lines of "You might as well go home now, you're F***ing S**t". How thoughtful of the fans, always there with bits of advice.

94th Minute - QPR 2 Hull City 0

My friend and I do have a few questions. I hope you can help us with the answers.

1. I know I said in a previous post that footballers don't get selected to play for their country based on interesting haircuts and nice thighs. But why not?
2. How do they repair the grass so quickly for the game next week?
3. Just what is the problem with Danny Mills? I felt very sorry for him.
4. Is the mascot a Ferret or a Cat?
5. Why couldn't I buy a programme, or even see anywhere that sold one? I don't have a souvenir from the match.
6. Where was the Queen??

We had a great day out, and it was all a lot of fun. Hoping to go to another one soon, Charlton Athletic I think, nearer Christmas. If there are any fans who can give me some info on your team that would be helpful, I like to be well informed. More posts coming soon including H'scopes for October. Heather x

PS - I was joking about the Molton Brown toiletries and fluffy white towels. But I did post that idea in their suggestion box.


  • At Monday, September 25, 2006 11:34:00 pm, Blogger Señor Tronosco said…

    Hilarious post, I spat my Muller Rice out with laughter!
    Remember the use of colourful language is part of the working mans game, you either turn a deaf ear or join in!
    How about learning some chants?

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 4:26:00 am, Blogger simon said…

    I do not know much about football at all. Except Rugby and Aussie rules ( which is like Irish football mixed with a game the Aborignies play).... I do have a fox terrier that like to roll in dead thing though!

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 8:34:00 am, Blogger Billy said…

    Did you join in with any of the chants?

    They were very loud this time I could hear them from my house.

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 8:35:00 am, Blogger Billy said…

    Oh and question 2, they play away.

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 5:31:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What is with the guy in the photo? Is he playing some sort of game by pretending to be a bridge?

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 7:19:00 pm, Blogger greavsie said…

    Sounds like you'll be a purveyor of industrial language before we know it.

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 9:21:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    S T - Yes, you're right, that is something I will get used to. I probably should learn some.

    Simon - I have seen Aussie rules, that's the one where they wear very short shorts isn't it?

    Your fox terrier sounds just like Fluffy.

    Billy - I didn't, but I did jump around when they scored though, does that count?

    anon - No anon, I think he's doing his yoga stretches.

  • At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 1:23:00 am, Blogger simon said…

    Yes that the game.. :o)lots of girls like it ;o0

  • At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 6:31:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    Hi Greavsie - Yes I can see that happening.

  • At Thursday, September 28, 2006 4:29:00 am, Blogger simon said…

    hey heather.. where's this months Astrology??

    I am heading into central australia 4 two weeks soon and I neeed to know my future..eg will I break down, get bitten by something, or lost.. (smile.. its a piscean thing you know...)

    be cool for a few weeks.

  • At Thursday, September 28, 2006 12:43:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Heather

    It nice to read a ladies view on football,
    And was glad to here your WC stores was good one,
    I can tell you that Rangers were please to here that it was clean.
    If you would like to know more about football without going to a football site I can recommend a site. Its http://www.lofty-heights06.blogspot.com/.
    It’s by a ranger’s fan that goes home and away and which pubs that are safe to go to as an away support.
    He has also started doing some Music gig stuff on one of the ranger’s players.
    If you want a good night out and like music you should check it out.

    Great post made me chuckle keep up the good work.


  • At Thursday, September 28, 2006 4:57:00 pm, Blogger LOFTY said…

    Hiya, what a great post!! I love alternative footy reports, thats one of the reasons I started my blog!

    And thanks to my friend Corp in the last post, I am indeed Lofty Heights.

    Come on by and say Hi :)


  • At Thursday, September 28, 2006 6:27:00 pm, Anonymous Dylan said…

    Great post. You are a star. I'm glad you picked a real team like QPR. Your report is a scream.

    To answer your question about the mascot -- its a cat named Jude. There is a vaguely curte (and 100% true) story about how Jude came to be the mascot. QPR have had some hard times and a few years ago they were in Administration and had been relegated to the 3rd division (now called League 1). Well one day the staff found a black cat on the grounds and decided to look after it. They named the cat St. Jude (the patron saint of lost causes). Anyhow, after they took the cat in the club's luck started to change. The club was promoted and a new owner bought the club, which helped the fincial side a bit. Since then a big black cat called Jude has been the official mascot.

    Anyhow, thanks for the chuckle

  • At Friday, September 29, 2006 10:27:00 am, Blogger Heather said…

    Hi Corp, thanks, yes the ladies really was clean, I was impressed! Will have a look at the Music stuff.

    Lofty, Hi, glad you liked it, will have a look at Lofty Heights

    Dylan - thanks for your comments, pleased you liked it. So the mascot is a cat...not a ferret! Brilliant story about Jude, very interesting..when was this?

  • At Friday, September 29, 2006 10:32:00 am, Blogger Heather said…

    Sorry Simon, I almost forgot you! H'scopes coming very soon..I do predict that you will only get lost if you wear those green trousers, with the dolphins on.

  • At Friday, September 29, 2006 2:11:00 pm, Anonymous Ellee said…

    Glad to hear you had such a great time, I can't understand why you weren't able to buy a programme, the sellers are usually everywhere.

    I know what you mean about the earmuffs, it's the constant stream of 4letter words too that I can't stand.
    But you do get a great atmosphere at a match.

  • At Saturday, September 30, 2006 8:11:00 am, Blogger simon said…

    Thanks! No... I do not have those kind of pants.... (leaving at 2am tonight/day.)

    Hello Elle! Will read more of your updates on your blog too and post acomment or two when I get back.

    I am with mate dr Jim Fowler who is a Biologist. He has come from London to look at the drought here and do a spot of bird observing.

    (maalie blog is his blog for you to see. ust Google it)

    see you!

  • At Sunday, October 01, 2006 11:01:00 am, Blogger janine said…

    Hi Heather
    absolutly brilliant post! you do make me cuckle! Its crazy that the fan's alway's want to take things out on the poor footballers relations!
    take care love x

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