Heather's Boutique, picture from Getty Images

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Bad French

I'm going back to Paris in November. It will be a nostalgic trip to visit friends, and my former employers Monsieur et Madame F.

While I'm there, I'm hoping to visit an amazing flea market at Porte de Clignancourt. It's supposed to be the largest in Europe. Some of the things on my list will be a new pair of sturdy football boots for Paul Robinson, and a pad for Steve McClaren. He's always making notes!? What could he be writing? Little poems to all the players? A short novel about the life of an England football manager?

What do I say to the Parisians if the conversation turns to football? Shall I just change the subject back to French politics and pretend I'm not English? Which means I'll have to do an impression of a French person with a regional French accent. Not an English person without an accent speaking French with a bad accent.

I once confidently asked for "Les yeux avec du pain, s'il vous plait" which I thought to be, "eggs on toast, please". Only to be met by guffaws of laughter from the waiter and my date. Said date, then kindly pointed out that I may have confused the similar pronunciation of "Les yeux" with, "Les oeufs". It turned out I had ordered, "Eyes on toast."

Not yummy, even in France, even with lots of red wine.

But I wonder if they sell recipe books at the Porte de Clignancourt market? I wonder if there is an ancient provincial recipe somewhere for "Eyes on toast?" I'm not saying I would like to eat this, however I know a footballer who should.

Sorry Paul, I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Heather x

11 Comments:

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 11:32:00 pm, Blogger SeƱor Tronosco said…

    Watch and learn lines from 'Allo 'Allo for an authentic accent.
    Either that or pretend to be Spanish...eh-hmm?

     
  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 6:22:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Brushing up on my French is something I'm really keen to do, I think Croydonian is pretty good at him, you could suggest meeting up for a few lessons before you leave.

    I hope you have a great time, Paris is stunning, whatever time of the year you visit. It always seems so clean to me, compared to London. I love the leafy squares and fountain.

    Have a great time.

     
  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 8:29:00 pm, Blogger KAZ said…

    I reduced a whole French shoe shop to helpless laughter by referring innocently to 'Le Couleur' of some shoes in my Lancashire French.

    It was suggested that this could sound like something very rude.

    I'll probably never know.

     
  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 2:31:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just grunt and point, its the official French way.

    Sheep's eyes are alright though, but not on toast, just eat them with fingers!

     
  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 10:11:00 am, Blogger Heather said…

    ST - Buena idea, but how are the Spanish at football, better than us?

    Ellee - Thanks, it is a lovely city, who's Croydonian?

    Kaz - Ooops..but more to the point did you get the right colour shoes?

    anon - I shall not be doing any grunting anon, but I have been practising my pouting.

     
  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 10:52:00 am, Blogger Rog said…

    I thought there was a picture of the largest flea market in Europe in your previous post?

    (ONLY joking Fluffy!!! Oz is the one who has to see the nit nurse.)

     
  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:37:00 pm, Blogger Billy said…

    I was once mistaken for a Spanish person in Belgium of all places, by someone who was actually Spanish.

    Most odd.

     
  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 11:50:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    Hi Murph - Grizzle had fleas once, caught them from a cat, she's had more Frontline than hot dinners - Fluffy.

    Hi Billy - that is odd, I have never been to Belgium.

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 4:14:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pouting only works when combined with complete disdain when they get it wrong.

    Pictures of you pouting would help to judge the effectiveness.

     
  • At Sunday, October 29, 2006 11:21:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That thought about Steve Mclaren cracked me up!

     
  • At Monday, October 30, 2006 12:30:00 pm, Blogger Heather said…

    anon - will do my best

    Hi sleepless - Yes he always amuses me. brave choice of photo.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home