H' Scopes for October

Here are my predictions for October. Sorry they are a bit late, I was going to publish them on Wednesday, but I predicted that would mean the end of the world on Thursday. So I waited until today in order to save everybody...glad you are all ok.

Virgo On the 15th your stylish Henri Lloyd waterproof jacket gets torn in a winch. Quelle horreur! You now face survival....or fashion death with your replacement Matalan Jacket.

Libra Plant some sunflower seeds ready for the total eclipse on the 20th. They don't need sunlight, that's just a vicious rumour.

Scorpio Congratulations, you have been asked to perform Tchaikovsky's piano concerto No 1. You see, I told you that piano lessons would pay off, but watch out for that tricky phrase around bar 58, it always gets me.

Sagittarius Lots of free time for this month to indulge in your hobbies... as all your friends will be emigrating unexpectedly.

Capricorn This month all you can think about is your money problems.... take your mind off things, go and have dinner at my favourite restaurant, Le Gavroche. Don't even think about stealing the copper bird centre piece thing to sell on ebay.

Cancer You've been collecting sea shells for 10 years now, how about starting your own beach?

Taurus I predict some problems with backache, only fly first class from now on, it's your health at stake here.

Aries I predict you will be feeling all technical this month, take a day trip down to PC World.

Leo Your gift for being clumsy really comes into it's own this month, when you make a fool of yourself at your sister's wedding.

Aquarius I foresee travel for you in the Australian outback. My failsafe tip to tell if creatures are poisonous or not....wait till you get bitten by one, then see if you drop dead within 48 hours. If you do, sadly they probably were.

Pisces You are in a dead end relationship at the moment, although that's partly your fault...you did move into a cul de sac.

Gemini I predict you will be called up to play for England next week... but I recommend that you turn it down, it'll play hell with your bunions.

Thank you to all the QPR fans for being so nice to me. As long as I can take my earmuffs with me, I'll be back. More posts coming soon, including my Newfies, Charlton Athletic and trip to Paris. Heather x

QPR v Hull City

1.00 pm - Made the difficult decision not to take the dogs to the football after all. Fluffy broke her promise to me and did in fact roll in something disgusting on her morning walk. Grizzle however just couldn't be bothered.

2.00 pm - Arrived at "The Green" pub in Shepherds Bush. A very mischievous doorman questioned whether we were genuine football fans or not, otherwise he couldn't let us in! My friend CD assured him that despite our stylish appearance we were.

2.05 pm - Was berated by CD for not joining in with the football ambiance after ordering a glass of Rioja.

3.00 pm - Kick off! We had great seats, in the corner of the Ellerslie Road Stand.


7th Minute - I was cursing myself for not having the foresight to bring along my earmuffs. For the noisy chanting yes, but girls you should have heard some of the language....I didn't know where to look.

30th Minute - CD pointed out to me that their sponsors are Sellotape...ahh bless. I think they do need my support after all.

48th Minute - Half time.

Vistied the Ladies, which were surprisingly clean. Molton Brown toiletries and freshly laundered fluffy white towels! It really is the Queen's team!

Visited the snack stand, FIVE POUNDS for a pie??! What's in it? Scottish reared fillet steak from Donald Russell, the Queen's butcher? Possibly....but opted for a man's size Kit Kat instead.

49th Minute - Start of second half.




52nd Minute - Couldn't help but overhearing some fans being very rude about Danny Mill's mother.

60th Minute - Ray Jones scored a goal!! Group hugs all round.


80th Minute - Dexter Blackstock scores a goal!

82nd Minute - Heard a chant along the lines of "You might as well go home now, you're F***ing S**t". How thoughtful of the fans, always there with bits of advice.

94th Minute - QPR 2 Hull City 0


My friend and I do have a few questions. I hope you can help us with the answers.

1. I know I said in a previous post that footballers don't get selected to play for their country based on interesting haircuts and nice thighs. But why not?
2. How do they repair the grass so quickly for the game next week?
3. Just what is the problem with Danny Mills? I felt very sorry for him.
4. Is the mascot a Ferret or a Cat?
5. Why couldn't I buy a programme, or even see anywhere that sold one? I don't have a souvenir from the match.
6. Where was the Queen??

We had a great day out, and it was all a lot of fun. Hoping to go to another one soon, Charlton Athletic I think, nearer Christmas. If there are any fans who can give me some info on your team that would be helpful, I like to be well informed. More posts coming soon including H'scopes for October. Heather x

PS - I was joking about the Molton Brown toiletries and fluffy white towels. But I did post that idea in their suggestion box.

Top Gear

When I returned home last night from a most delicious meal at a tapas bar in Borough. I was very sad to hear that Richard Hammond from the tv show Top Gear was critically ill in hospital.

For those of you who have never heard of Top Gear, it's a programme about Cars.

Apart from having a go at fixing the odd thing, like the head gasket etc. It's something I don't really have a huge amount of interest in. I suppose I'm like most women, as long as there is somewhere for me to put my shopping, it comes in the right colour and it's easy to park, I'm happy....

Anyway, and here is the genius of Top Gear, it has women like me, genuinely interested in the programme. Gosh, I don't know what's wrong with me, I actually look forward to it.... my Sunday evening consists of watching Top Gear on BBC 2 at 8 o'clock, then turning over to "the other" channel for Midsomer Murders at 9 o'clock.

There are 3 presenters, Jeremy Clarkson Richard Hammond and James May, all have their own style of presenting.

Jeremy Clarkson - Very passionate about cars, loud outspoken and opinionated. Enjoys being controversial, bless him.

Richard Hammond - Equally as passionate about cars, and speed, down to earth kind of guy. More often than not does the daring stunts for the show. He once went under water sitting in a car, to see how long it would take before he could open the car doors....it took ages. (there was a diver with an oxygen mask in the back)

James May - He brings a sophisticated element to the show, the other two tease him sometimes because he's a bit old fashioned.

Along with the three presenters, there are....

The Stig - anonymous racing driver, who tests most of the cars which feature in the show. He drives round a race track doing a timed lap. The time is then put on a board with all the others. Random celebrities also get to do this in an "average priced car".

The dog - there is a show dog, Richard looks after him. I don't remember it's name, but it's a shaggy one.

So finally I will get to my point...of course Richard Hammond won't be reading my little old blog, but I hope you get well very soon, and I'm sure my readers wish you the best as well.

More posts after QPR on Sat, Heather x

Blogs I love

Gosh what a morning I've had...that's absolutely the last time I do an oil change on the car. I don't know how the girls from the Pirelli calendar do it. They always make it look so easy in the photo.....

Step 1 Lacy underwear - to match the colour of your car, don't wear see through.... you don't want the whole street watching.

Step 2 Make up - a girl always likes to look her best, but not too much, that looks common.

Step 3 Heels - good for poking things out with.

Step 4 Your best car mechanic's face, so plenty of pouting and sultry glances at the car bonnet.

Step 5 Lots of tyres to sit on, for when Mr Spottiswood from next door brings you a cappuccino and a panini.

Step 6 A Spanner, for fixing things.

I think I'll stick to changing the head gasket, that was far more straight forward.

Here are some blogs I love..... huge exaggeration, but you know what I mean. No money has changed hands here, however if anyone would like to give me some money, then I will be happy do a post on how entertaining witty and original your blog is.

A Dress A Day

Does what it says on the tin. Features completely over the top vintage dresses, and posts written by enthusiastic dressmaker Erin. Occasional stories about the "Secret lives of dresses". This is what I wear if I ever have any photocopying to do, not in that hideous colour though.

The World, My Playground

Cheery Australian air hostess AG, travels the world. Regular posts from lots of interesting places, with delicious looking pictures of local cuisine. Actually I'm still feeling envious from her June posts....she went to the World Cup in Germany.

Mucho Danger

Funny anecdotes from Senor Tronosco's life. Including a guide to Flamenco music and why he likes Battenburg cake. Have fun trying to work out if he is Spanish or not, just don't ask him about tomatoes....

The Injured Cyclist

After a serious cycling accident in London, and lots of recovery time on his hands, Tom started his blog. Here he shares his ups and downs of the slow healing process. Fortunately with lots of help from St Thomas's Hospital and determination he is getting better. Interesting posts about a variety of things, including politics (Tory)...don't let that put you off and cycling in London

It's a Dog's Life!

Only just discovered this one..... But I've been looking for a good one about dogs, and here it is. Read all about the adventures of Murphy Oz and the grouchy but lovable Mr P..... Cute photos including trips to the beach. My Newfies Grizzle and Fluffy are already huge fans.

Actually there are a few others, but they will be featuring in my Christmas special, so don't feel left out. More posts coming soon, including the QPR game H'scopes for October and a weekend in Paris. Heather x

Q.P.R tickets

After years of waiting, and hours of holding with the telephone box office, I've finally got them. At long last I'm off to see QPR....play football, and Hull City on the 23rd. Obviously I'm very excited to go and see such a prestigious club, and the Queen!? at what point will I actually get to meet her? At the end? with all the other dignitaries? I do hope she will remember me, she once waved to me from her huge ship.

This is going to sound very dumb, but on the ticket it says Ellerslie Road Cargiant STAND, does that mean stand, as in stadium stand. Or does it mean stand, as in not sitting down for 2 hours?

Still bringing the dogs, they love football too. They will be on their best behaviour, and I'll try and make sure they don't roll in anything disgusting before they arrive.

Thanks for all your emails with suggestions regarding that elusive painting. I really cannot think where it is, and have searched blogs myself, but nothing. Do keep looking, its out there somewhere.

More posts coming soon, and blogs I love.

Heather x